Mother's Kampf

Today, Mother said some things that would seem very racist if taken out of context. They were even more racist when heard in context. It all started when we went to a restaurant that she and Pops thought might have been operated by Greeks. This excited them. Pops knew that we were in for a good experience as soon as he walked in. "I thought the girl who took our name might have been Greek." He later added that "Greeks run good restaurants." He and Mother were impressed with the fact that it was one employees job to walk around the restaurant and refill customers' coffee. They later went on to list some restaurants that they enjoyed and discussed the heritage of the proprietors of those restaurants. Later on, as we were watching the Bears, Mother asked whether there were any Asian players in professional football. She would not take 'yes' for an answer. "I've never seen any," she said. I told her that she hasn't seen every football player but that didn't change her mind. Pops brought up the fact that many players were Pacific Islanders. Mother doesn't feel like they are "Asian enough." "Where are the Japanese, the Chinese?" I don't know. I just don't know.

Making Up for Lost Time♦

I think this picture sums up the past few months that I haven't been blogging.

One interesting tidbit: Mother just tried to imitate the sound of galloping horses but it sounded like the drum fill from "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins. Also, I'm not quite sure how to say this but this summer Pops suffered a har-ta-tack? I don't know a lot of that medical mumbo-jumbo.

Innovations!

Tonight while eating dinner, Pops created a new drink. This drink made him "feel like a little kid" because it was so playful. He said this drink would be like a slushy if it had "more ice and less drink." Essentially he just poured himself some juice in a cup with ice but he was so excited that I didn't want to rain on his parade.

Strange Amusements of WCM

Pops was reading the South Bend Tribune today and found an article that really got him and Mother excited. It stated that a Gino's East Pizzeria Restaurant is to be erected in Heritage Square, a "high-end market and shopping center," as Mother put it, that is within 2 miles of WCM. For those who aren't familiar with Gino's East, it is a pizzeria restaurant that specializes in the Chicago, Illinois style of deep-dish pizza pies and Mother and Pops are fans of their pizza pies. In fact, upon reading this news, Pops "kind of grabbed his chest and said something, but he didn't follow through with it, he just kind of stopped." Mother and Pops then both raised their hands up in excitement and let out short exclamations before regaining their composure and calmly discussing some of the business aspects of this story. Later on in the day Mother began making lists of flowers that can also be a girl's name. She then went on to make a list of birds that could be used as a girl's name but only got Wren and Robin. She's kind of on the fence on the name Piper but she thinks it works.

Mother's Folly

The residents of Woodcliff Manor ("Woodcliffians" for short) headed south to the Indianapolis Metropolitan area this past weekend. I had band and orchestra obligations which Mother and Pops graciously took time to watch in between their time spent with Young Germy. Mother had many pictures taken with Germy but when we got home she was unable to find them. Silly Mother left the pictures on the memory card! Maybe a "tech-wiz" or a "computer-wunderkind" would have known to look there, but I don't blame her for not being able to find them. I mean how could you fit all that film onto such a tiny piece of plastic? Mother's now watching "Lost" which is one of her favorite shows. She believes that she's capable of writing for "Lost" because she's able to predict the dialogue. She'd be able to incorporate some of the new curse words that she's used into her writing. This blog is evidently popular among employees of the Navy, so perhaps mother can one day exhibit some of her sailor talk.

Garage Sale

This seems to be a popular time of year for these garage sales. If you're unfamiliar with them this is how they work: you're mother is upset about all the stuff that is in your basement (stuff that she has saved for over 30 years.) She then decides that it should be taken out of the basement and put into the garage for a while. A Saturday comes along and the things from the garage are moved into the driveway and are available for strangers to purchase. Only about five things are actually sold but your mother considers the day a success because it was windy and she got to play with a kite. Then she tells you to drive the rest of the stuff to Goodwill which requires you to make two trips and they won't even take all of the stuff so she keeps asking you what to do with it. In the meantime you can't park in the garage because there is a couch in your spot, a couch that could not stay in the basement. A couch that your mother insisted on moving herself no matter how many lamps she knocked over.

Mother playing with a kite

Mother putting the kite away

Our acquaintance Kim who is neither pregnant nor punctual

I'm really glad that Mother invited her to come

This is a sales exercise that Kim has learned from her experiences as a door to door weed salesperson. (Not marijuana, actual weeds from the yard. That Kim really knows her stuff.)

Trip to IU

These are pictures from our trip to Indiana University. We stayed with our acquaintance Dan.

Typical Tuesday

It was Flannel Tuesday at high school because every Tuesday is Flannel Tuesday at high school and after high school I got my hair cut and mother went to the salon with me. While we were there she showed me all the hair products that she owns which was really boring. After we got home and ate dinner, Pops turned on "Two and a Half Men" which is his favorite show. Mother called it something like "Two Men and a Part Man" which is really silly. A commercial came on that had a guy who sounded like Barry White and Pops did his Barry White impression which means that he laid down and pretended to be dead. We watched a video of our friend Germy squealing. Pops said to stop watching it because the squealing was just too intense. Pops called me Dan quite a few times today. He says that not because he doesn't care about me, but because he's getting older and doesn't know better. We're now going to search through our things so that we can sell them this Saturday in a garaged sale. I'm not looking forward to this sale because it will require my getting up before my usual wake up time and also because I will probably have to interpret between mother and strangers as she is often confused by people she's never met.

Spring Time in the QRS

Warmer weather is now upon us here at WCM. There was a bit of a thunder storm today and our dog Cheney went a little bit "bonkers" as an acquaintance of ours named Kim used to say. He has always been upset during storms but today he took it too a new level. He burst into Mother and Pops' room and demanded that they comfort him. It was very immature behavior for a 7 year old. We watched "WKRP in Cincinnati" together as a family. Pops liked the outfits that one of the characters wore. "Look at those shoes!" Pops exclaimed. Pops also liked how he snapped his fingers and tried to snap along. Mother then said "please don't imitate, please don't imitate." After dinner Pops gave Cheney some bread. He ran out of bread and said "that's all Cheney," then realized the Looney Tunes reference and sang the Looney Tunes theme to our dog. Pops watched the video of his friend Jack Cleaver rapping the song "Getting Jiggy With It" on Facebook. He described Jack as a "kid in a candy store." Typical Pops!

Pops and Colors

Pops has long been known to call colors by the wrong names. Mother says that because Pops takes a color blind test at work he thinks he's an expert on color. Pops said he wanted to get a new brown shirt and Mother was "immediately afraid" that he meant a different color because his car is gold but he calls it brown. He thinks that our friend Kim's car is aqua-ish when in reality it is a pretty deep blue. Pops says that he's right.

Home Alone

Mother has been in our state's capital for the past few days and Pops has been working when I get home from school so I've had the house almost completely to myself. I've used this alone time to gather my thoughts and create plans for the future. When I'm not busy with that I play Goldeneye and let the dog out. What these past days have lacked in glitz and glamor they have made for with learning and experience. I'm sad to see this mini-vacation come to a close, but it will be nice to have somebody to prepare my meals.

A week of excitement and wonder

Our friends Amy and Jeremy came to WCM to visit on Monday and stayed until Thursday afternoon. For those of you who don't know, Amy is an adult and Jeremy is an infant. They were polite and courteous guests although collectively they threw up on Mother three times. Today our new washing machine arrived and after a little adversity at first it now appears to be performing properly but perhaps not quite exceptionally. Pops called the retailer that the washer was purchased from to report that it was not functioning. He spoke with a nice gentleman named Nick. After a few minutes the washer began working so Pops called back to report that Nick need not worry about our washer because it was working satisfactorally but, he accidentally referred to Nick as 'Brian' which led to some minor controversy. In the end everything worked out, as it usually does.

Pops and Benny Hill

Today was a "snowday" for high school so I had the pleasure of spending the day with Mother and Pops. We watched 30 Rock together and there was a scene where Tracy made a show called "A Salute to Benny Hill." Pops was in the kitchen during this scene and was looking through the fridge when he heard that signature Benny Hill theme song. He turned around and smiled like a child on Christmas morn, or like when Mother hears the sound of galloping horses, or when our friend Kim hears a chain saw slicing through a tree limb or a femur.

Garfield Goose

Tonight at dinner, Mother and Pops got into a discussion about one of their favorite shows from their childhood, Garfield Goose. Mother's favorite part of the show was the sound that Garfield's beak made as he "talked." Pops seemed to be more of a fan of the heart-pounding drama. One thing that Mother didn't like about the show was that "there was a lot of hatred. They all hated Mother Goose." Pops came to Garfield's defense, "well she was only there in the winter. She showed up in November and was gone by March." Mother thinks that Mother Goose was really just Garfield but with his crown removed because she doesn't recall them being on screen together. Pops just rolled his eyes at this thought. Typical Pops! Mother and I are watching Secret Life. There is controversy on the show because two underage characters got married using fake ids. Mother then talked about an episode of Dick Van Dyke where Rob found out that Laura wasn't actually of age when they got married. Mother then said "Oh Rob!" like Mary Tyler Moore. That's when I snagged this great pic.

Pops vs. Facebook

Pops has recently learned how to change his status on Facebook. He has used it to make "shout outs" to my friends. I don't really like that. Pops also got an email saying that a friend of his had added him as a friend and he accused Mother of playing some sort of joke on him. She told him that it was no joke. According to Pops today he "made new friends, and kept the old." Mother got a haircut today around 7 AM. She took a shower and decided that her hair was too long so she cut her hair. I couldn't make this up.

Watching Pops Watch Television

Pops is watching "Scrubs" and "The New Adventures of Old Christine" tonight. He has been laughing quite a bit at both of these shows but I don't think either will be able to overtake "Two and a Half Men" as his favorite. Pops and Mother had another one of their duets tonight. I asked Mother if the weather outside was frightful and the two of them began singing "Let it Snow." For those of you who are big fans of Pops, he is now aware of this blog but he doesn't care to see it. He said that has no desire to know what I do and that "when your [facebook] is up on the computer I just turn it off. I don't want to know what you and your buddies are up to." He did, however, make sure that I'm not pregnant so he does care a little bit about me. Mother offered Pops a Wheat Thin cracker but Pops said he didn't want one. "Whether I'll like it or not, I don't want to try it," he said.

Boring Tuesday at WCM

I spent only a short while with Pops and Mother today. I saw them in the morning for 20 minutes or so then we ate dinner together. In the morning Mother told me that it would snow during the day so I should drive with caution on my way home. Anything goes on the way to school evidently. At dinner the two of them expressed their dismay over the fact that the BCS championship is being played on Thursday. Surprisingly Mother never once mentioned how the Orange Bowl used to have the best halftime show, and Pops never even referred to a non-BCS bowl as "some bogus game." Mother thinks that FOX is trying to compete with her favorite Thursday night shows and is not happy about it. Pops wisely pointed out that FOX doesn't do college football except for the BCS, and so they probably have the same announcers doing the Fiesta Bowl and the championship and so they need a few days to prepare. He then mentioned how the NFL is so much more complex than college football because the players are so much better and that "they're pros." Mother said "yeah, they're professionals you know." Pops knew.

Secret Life of The American Teenager

The second half of the first season of Secret Life premieres tonight so Pops and I are watching the marathon that proceeds it. Pops likes to call characters by the names of characters that the actors have previously played. For example, pops calls the main character's dad "Bonnie's husband" because the actor Mark Derwin played Bonnie Hunt's husband on her show "Life With Bonnie." He also calls Ricky's therapist "The Ghostbuster" because Ernie Hudson played Winston Zeddmore in the Ghostbuster movies. Pops says he's glad that these "old guys are finding work," because he has "nothing against any of them." Despite all of this, I can tell he truly does love this show. In other news, an acquaintance of ours, Kim Burkey got a new car that is the same model as Pops'. When asked for a comment Pops said that he "isn't excited," nor is he "upset," that someone has gotten a car like his.

Woodcliff Livin'

I'm starting this blog about life in woodlciff manor. Mother had one demand and that was that it be respectful. How could it not be? In other news, Mother told me that from April of 2008 to September of 2008 she substituted buffalo meat for regular beef. She kept this a secret from Pops and I because she was afraid that we wouldn't eat it but I told her that I would have been fine with it. Pops was surprisingly calm when mother told him. She thinks his reaction was due to the fact that "that was then and this is now." Also, for real woodcliff history buffs, when Pops had his first taco this summer it was made with buffalo meat. Who would have thought?